when you try to say ‘nah you’re good’ but say ‘nah you’re god’ by mistake
date a girl who reads books
just fuck the book.
put ya dick in the book
FUCK THE BOOK
PUT YA DICK IN THE BOOK
if u have a crush on me please stand up
We lost Earl Ragnar, our favorite Beta fish.
& we were sure to give him a viking’s funeral as such a magnificent fish as he deserves.
See you in Valhalla my friend.
Sail, Ragnar. Sail.
you set your little girl’s dead fish on fire in front of her eyes this is incredible
Anonymous asked: Lil daddy can I fuck you in your tight little arsehole?
this vine is better than all of paranormal activity
too much can happen in six seconds. we have gone too far.
how long did it take you to notice the second dude from the right licking the other guy’s shoulder
i lost my number, can you give me yours
no no no not your phone number your credit card number
how am i supposed to make creative funny text posts when nothing happens in my life at all
you just use a story from sims and pretend it really happened to you
one time i was swimming but the pool ladders disappeared so i couldn’t get out of the pool and i swam for 10 hours then died